Quick Reference — Resolve Conflict Before It Grows (Cheat Sheet)

A one-page guide you can print, keep in your manager notes, or save to a quick-access file. Use this when you spot friction and need a short plan.

Quick signals to notice

• Repeated missed commitments, deadlines, or deliverables
• Consistently withdrawn participation in meetings
• Escalating tone or curt messages
• Private complaints or small-group avoidance
• Work quality changes tied to interpersonal friction

Do this in the next 48–72 hours

1. Privately confirm the pattern (ask neutral questions to each person).
2. Decide who is best to have the conversation (peers first, manager if power imbalance).
3. Plan a 20–40 minute conversation. Use the planner to prepare facts, impacts, and desired outcomes.

Conversation opener (try this)

"I want to check in because I’ve noticed X and I’m worried it’s getting in the way of our work. I value our working relationship and would like to understand what’s happening and see if we can find a practical way forward. Is now a good time to talk for about 30 minutes?"

During the conversation — 4 short moves

• Facts: Ask for what happened. Clarify specifics and timelines.
• Impact: State observed impact on work, team, or relationships.
• Interests/Needs: Ask what each person needs or fears.
• Options & Agreement: Brainstorm small experiments and agree on observable next steps + date to follow up.

Dos & Don’ts

• Do keep curiosity and curiosity-laced questions in the lead.
• Do name observable behavior, not character.
• Don’t require immediate agreement — allow time to think.
• Don’t escalate to HR or formal processes unless safety, harassment, or legal risk exists.

Follow-up timing

Short check (1–2 weeks), then a second check (3–6 weeks). If improvements are visible, celebrate and embed changes. If not, escalate thoughtfully.